House at the End of the Street (2012)

House at the End of the Street. It reads like a placeholder title, doesn't it? Something lame and basic that gets replaced when they get round to thinking up a better title. Except, they didn't. In a way, it's appropriate because this really is a placeholder of a film. It serves no purpose other than to waste time. It doesn't shock or scare; it doesn't excite or intrigue and it certainly doesn't entertain or inspire emotions of any kind for that matter. It's the most formulaic, derivative, by-the-numbers, clichéd film I've seen in a very long time. But then again, with a title like House at the End of the Street, how could it not be?

Jennifer Lawrence is Elissa Cassidy, a seventeen-year-old girl who moves from Chicago to the back end of nowhere with her mom Sarah (Elisabeth Shue). They're renting a house that was only in their price range because of what happened in the house next door a few years ago: a disturbed young girl, Carrie-Ann, murdered her parents and disappeared. She is believed to have drowned in the lake but the resentful locals, angry that the incident drove down their property prices, mutter that she may be living out in the woods. The house is presently occupied by Ryan Jacobson (Max Theriot), Carrie-Ann's older brother, who was staying with his grandparents when the murders happened. The local parents hate him and the local kids mock and bully him. Enter Elissa, who takes a liking to him because seemingly the only other guy in the area is Tyler Reynolds (Nolan Gerard Funk), who's not just a dick but a dickhole (yes, that is an actual line of dialogue). Her mother doesn't like her being around Ryan, he acts weird, blah blah blah. Can we just get to the interesting bit, please?

Well, no. Most of the film is spent on this mind-numbing, often cringe-worthy story that's like something lifted from a made-for-TV romantic drama. Interspersed with occasional efforts to make the viewer jump, it makes for a very disjointed film and incredibly jarring watching. Said attempted scares are sloppily handled and lack any tension whatsoever. The only half-decent jump in the entire film is, naturally, a false one. Does this film have nothing going for it?

Yes. It has Jennifer Lawrence. House at the End of the Street was made way back in the middle of 2010, but when Lawrence was cast in X-Men: First Class and then The Hunger Games, the producers decided to stick this film on a shelf for two years and then release it shortly after those two came out, so as to cash in on her new-found star power as much as possible. In fact, I remember seeing trailers for the film that advertised it as starring "The Hunger Games' Jennifer Lawrence". So, given that it was made over two years before it was released, you can't really question Lawrence's motivation for appearing in it. Winter's Bone had only come out a few months before it was shot and her Oscar nomination, yet alone her future global superstardom, was a long way off yet. She was a (very) young actress, it was a role and she took it. Despite that, she gives nothing less than a full-throated performance. She is easily the best thing about this film and even if there's no joy to be found in the rest of the film, it's fun to watch her get put through her paces. Oh, and the last half hour, when she runs around in a white tank top, is pretty fun too. But that's it.

Without Jennifer Lawrence, there would be nothing to recommend here. As it is, there's just very little to recommend here. Replace her with some random actress and it'd probably get a 2. She earns the film another point all by herself.

A very bad film with a very good actress stuck in the middle of it.

3 out of 10.

Silent Night (2012)

Jaime King might not be the reigning Queen of horror (that honour goes to Danielle Harris, of course) but she's certainly the Queen of holiday-themed horror films: first with My Bloody Valentine 3D, then Mother's Day and now Silent Night. All she has to do next is Halloween 3D and a remake of April Fool's Day and she'll have covered all of the major holidays. If someone ever decides to make an Easter-themed slasher, you can bet that she'll be the director's first choice to play the final girl.

As for Silent Night, it's a semi-remake of the infamous 1984 film Silent Night, Deadly Night, which attracted massive controversy, spawned four sequels and attracted a sizeable cult following. In reality, the only thing that connects Silent Night to its predecessor is that it's about a man in a Father Christmas costume who goes round killing people. In the original, disturbed Billy Chapman is the main character and we follow his journey from traumatised young boy to serial killer. In this offering, Deputy Aubrey Bradimore (King) is the protagonist and the identity of the murderous Santa Claus is a mystery, as is his motivation for the killings. To be honest, it's an improvement. Far too many horror films these days (remakes or otherwise) give us endless flashbacks to something that happened in the murderer's childhood that turned them into a sadistic killer. It makes for such a nice change to see a killer whose identity and motivation are unknown. I'm not saying that the killer's identity and motivation are never revealed, just that for most of the film, we're as clueless as everyone else in the film is.

Instead, we follow Aubrey and Sheriff James Cooper (Malcolm McDowell) as they try and track down the bearded maniac. Finding a man in a Santa suit in a small Wisconsin town? No problem! Except that it's Christmas Eve and there's no chance of backup arriving. Oh, and the town's hosting an annual "best Santa" competition, so there are 499 other bearded men in red suits walking around the place.

Things get off to a promising start, with Santa electrocuting a man with Christmas lights and then paying a visit to a bitchy little girl. In a scene that nods at My Bloody Valentine 3D, he also drops in on a local pornographer. After dispatching the camerawoman and the director, the model, Maria (Cortney Palm), runs away and he gives pursuit. Did I mention she was topless? Yes, it's clearly influenced by Betty Rue's very memorable scene in the earlier film, although Palm does at least keep her underwear on (booooo!).

While it may only be a loose remake, there are a few nods to the original films. The catatonic Grandfather is present, but it's not the killer who visits him. Rather, the skeezy boyfriend of the mayor's slutty daughter (Courtney-Jane White). Later on, Santa visits the two of them and fans of the original will be pleased to see that the most memorable kill from the original is also present here. Finally, in a throwaway moment that will probably pass quite a few people by, Sheriff Cooper asks Deputy Jordan (Brendan Fehr) to take out the trash. "What is this, garbage day?" he asks.

Belying the film's undoubtedly small budget, it's well made, nicely shot and the acting varies only between good and competent. King is her usual resilient self, bringing depth and sympathy to her character and McDowell looks like he had great fun playing Sheriff Cooper. A parody of small town sheriffs, he has some of the best lines of the film. The kills are also very well done and include, in addition to those mentioned above, a very, very good head-splitting, someone getting their face punched in with knuckle dusters embossed with the words "ho ho ho", and death by woodchipper. 

It's not a perfect film by any means. There are a few plot holes and logical inconsistencies (a little girl is murdered in the morning and her mother doesn't report it until the evening?); the final confrontation isn't quite up to scratch; and the ending feels hurried. But, on the whole, a good slasher film. More importantly, perfect seasonal viewing!

7 out of 10.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

If you had just three weeks to live, what would you do? Try and see long-lost friends and relatives before the time came? Make an effort to re-connect with an old love? Finally get round to reading War and Peace? Travel as much as you could? Go on a crime spree? With an asteroid called Matilda hurtling towards the planet, that's the very conundrum facing Dodge Petersen (Steve Carell). Within moments of the car radio telling them that a last-ditch attempt to stop Matilda has failed, Dodge watches on as his wife Linda (Nancy Carell) gets out of the car and runs away from him and their life together. It's probably for the best anyway: she was having an affair and he only married her because he was scared of dying alone. Some people try and flee, as his wife did. Others join orgies and parties and some get things over with and take their own lives. Dodge reacts altogether differently, carrying on his humdrum life as normal. He goes to work, checks his empty letterbox and tries to tell his cleaning lady that with the apocalypse approaching, she doesn't have to come to work anymore. She thinks he's trying to fire her, so he relents and lets her carry on.

Dodge's friends aren't interested in business as usual, not in the slightest. Warren (Rob Corddry) and Diane (Connie Britton) invite him to a dinner party and try and set him up with their enthusiastic friend Karen (Melanie Lynskey), reasoning that no-one should die alone. They've hit the nail on the head - he doesn't want to die alone, but other than that, he doesn't know what he wants. He does know however that he's not interested in Karen or Diane's sexual advances, nor does he fancy taking heroin. So, he leaves the party and goes home. As he reminisces about Olivia, his old high school sweetheart, he sees his neighbour Penny (Keira Knightley) crying outside his window. She's missed the last flight back to England to see her family so he consoles her and invites her in. She falls asleep on his sofa and the next morning, gives him a pile of letters that the postman had wrongly delivered to her apartment over the years. They've never spoken before despite being neighbours for a long time so she has no idea that the man she assumed was his "roommate's boyfriend" was in fact his wife's lover. After trying to kill himself, Dodge reads the letters and finds one from Olivia where she tells him that she's divorced with a son and that he was the love of her life. Filled with a renewed sense of purpose and with a crowd of looters approaching their apartment block, he rescues Penny and tells her that if she helps him track down Olivia, he will hook her up with his friend who has a private plane that can take her back home to Surrey.

Thus begins the movie proper and from this point onwards it's a strange romantic drama-cum-black comedy-cum-apocalyptic science fiction film. Some parts work really well. For example, Dodge maintaining the semblance of a normal life as the sky falls around him (literally); the dinner party at Warren and Diane's; almost joining in an orgy at a diner and attending a mass baptism at a beach. It's just a pity that so many scenes fall flat on their face. Dodge's attempt to commit suicide was either supposed to be poignant or funny and it couldn't decide which. Dodge and Penny's encounter with an unusually vigilant policeman sees the film swerve completely off course and delivers easily the most boring and frustrating five minutes of the film. Their meeting with survivalists had promise but it was completely lacking any satirical edge and just felt like it had been shoehorned in. The only joke had at their expense came when they walked in on one of them on the toilet. Martin Sheen's character likewise feels tacked on and doesn't serve much purpose other than to provide a plot device. Finally, the ending. I can see some people really liking it, but I didn't really. I won't spoil it but of the three main ways I thought it could have ended as I was watching it - abrupt black comedy, tearful reunion and unhappy resolution - they picked the weakest of the three. After it finishes I wondered if there was an alternate ending but there is not.

Strange and unholy mash-up it might be but fortunately, there is glue holding the whole ramshackle structure together and it is the performances of Carell and Knightley. He deadpans his way through the film, his occasional outbursts of emotion and playful flirting making for a confidently understated performance. She is full of spunky energy, another excellent performance to add to the already long list. Together they make a likeable and believable pairing, often providing the only high points in scenes that otherwise drag along under the weight of their own superfluousness.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is a bit of a strange film and has as many hits as it does misses. It would all come unstuck were it not for Steve Carell and Keira Knightley. She in particular is superb and without their winning performances, the whole thing would come crashing down.

6 out of 10.