There are some honourable men on Game of Thrones but there are far more who have no honour. Joffrey springs to mind straight away, as do Jaime Lannister and now, Theon. We begin where we left off, at Winterfell. Theon wakes up to find his bed empty and one of his men dead. Assembling the others, he berates them for allowing a halfwit and a crippled boy to escape. Lorren (Forbes Keir-Bucknall) tells him that Rickon and Osha escaped too, noting that he was the one who fucked her last night. Theon promptly kicks the shit out of him and sets off with horses and dogs to find them, Maester Luwin (Donald Sumpter) accompanying them. Theon promises not to kill the boys if they find them quickly and Maester Luwin points out that they are worth more alive than dead and that Robb will have dispatched a force to re-take Winterfell by now. Theon is unconcerned; his sister is much closer and Winterfell's defences are legendary.
Osha (Natalia Tena), Rickon (Art Parkinson) and Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright), who is carried by Hodor (Kristian Nairn) are still on the move. They come across a farm and Bran recognises it as the one that he sent two orphans to, in order to assist the owner in collecting the harvest. He doesn't want to stay but Osha points out that they can't run from hounds forever.
Jon wakes up, still spooning Ygritte (Rose Leslie). She asks if he has a knife pressed up against her and Jon gets flustered, telling her they are to keep moving. She asks him if he's ever been with a girl and he tells her to be quiet. She starts teasing him about what the men of the Night's Watch get up to with no women around. "No wonder you're all so miserable", she remarks. Jon's not in the mood for it though and tells her to shut up. She tells him that she might be his prisoner but she's still a free woman, mocking him for not being able to touch a woman because he swore an oath. Jon replies that it's the price he paid for joining the Night's Watch. She asks him why he chose to invade her lands rather than sleep with women. Jon tells her that Wildlings raid his land all the time, that some of them tried to kill his little brother. They've always been our lands, Ygritte replies. You just built a wall and claimed everything south of it. Jon tells her his ancestry, that he's as much a northerner as she is. "So why are you fighting us?" She asks, walking off.
The reprisals for Amory Lorch's death are swift with men tortured and hanged in droves. Tywin (Charles Dance) tells Gregor Clegane (Ian Whyte) that it was wolfsbane that killed Lorch, not something easily come by. Gregor replies that they believe it is the work of an infiltrator from the Brotherhood Without Banners. Tywin demands they be caught and killed by any means necessary. Arya arrives with Tywin's lunch, mutton stew. Tywin turns his nose up, giving it to Arya. She eats as he looks out the window, telling her that this war will be his last, that win or lose it will be his legacy. He tells her that King Harren the Black intended for Harrenhal to be his legacy. The largest, most powerful castle ever built, it was impregnable to attack from the ground. Unfortunately for him, Aegon the Conqueror and his dragons were able to overwhelm it, killing him and all his sons. Arya reminds him that Aegon's sisters Rhaenys and Visenya flew dragons against Harrenhal as well. She impresses Tywin with her knowledge of Visenya, revealing her to be a heroine of hers. Tywin remarks that she reminds him of his daughter and asks where she learnt about Visenya. Arya replies that her father taught her. Tywin says that he's never met a literate stonemason and Arya asks if he's met many stonemasons, prompting Tywin to caution her about going too far. He sends her back to the kitchens but not before he corrects her grammar, telling her that lowborn girls say "m'lord" not "my lord", adding that if she is to pose as a commoner, she should do it properly. Arya replies that her mother served House Dustin and taught her how to speak properly. Tywin tells her she's too smart for her own good and sends her away. Arya turns around with a "thank fuck I got away with that" look on her face and leaves. Tywin smirks and drinks from his goblet.
In King's Landing, Sansa runs into Sandor Clegane (Rory McCann) and thanks him for saving her, praising his bravery. He tells her that it took no bravery, that he takes his pleasure from killing. Sansa protests that her father never took pleasure in killing. Sandor tells her that he lied and that one day she will be grateful for him, when he's all that stands between her and Joffrey.
Xaro (Nonso Anozie) tells Daenerys that he has called a meeting of the Thirteen. She asks why he is helping her. Apparently he's concerned for his reputation, having brought her into his house. She doesn't care though and walks off.
Ygritte hasn't finished telling Jon how much better they have it north of the wall. They don't have to take silly oaths or follow men who are king just because their father was, which is why they chose Mance Rayder for their king and why he came north -because he wanted to be free. She tells him that he could be free too. He could build a cabin and take his pick of Wildling women for a wife. She's getting to him but he just tells her to carry on walking.
Robb is hearing from Alton Lannister (Karl Davies), who has returned from King's Landing with news of Cersei's response to his peace terms. Robb thanks him and, lacking room, sends him to be kept with Jaime Lannister. Talisa (Oona Chaplin) asks for a minute of his time. Dealing with so many wounded men means that she has run low on supplies and asks if she can give Robb a list for him to give to the Maester of The Crag when he goes to negotiates its surrender. Robb tells her to come with him so she can just take what he needs.
Theon and his men have found the farm that the fugitives saw earlier. The dogs have lost the trail and Maester Luwin suggests starting again in the morning but Theon refuses to give up. He interrogates the farm owner, who claims not to have seen them but Dagmer (Ralph Ineson) has found something: empty shells of Rickon's favourite nuts. Theon ominously sends Maester Luwin back to Winterfell.
Daenerys is glumly looking over her empty dragon cages when Jorah finally returns. She seems pleased to see him and mourns that Irri died alone, that she could not protect her. Doreah is missing too, presumed dead. Jorah tells her that he should not have left, that the people of Qarth are not to be trusted. Daenerys asks who it is that she can trust. The Targaryens? The Dothraki? The people of Westeros? Jorah tells her that she is not her brother, deluded and foolish and that she can trust him. She says that she does not need to trust anyone and that he is too familiar. He asks how he can help and she tells him to find her dragons.
Ygritte is convinced that Jon is lost and teases him again, this time about what his fellow rangers would say if she told them they slept together. She tells him that if it's her word against his, they may as well have sex anyway, telling him how wet and warm she is. He gets flustered again, grabbing his sword. She backs off and uses the distraction to pull her leash out of his hands, running off up out of the valley and over the top. He goes after her, finding only the rope. She pops out from behind a rock as wildlings emerge all around him. "Should have took me while you had the chance", she tells him.
Sansa's dreams are full of the moments before she was almost raped. She wakes up screaming and panting, noticing that the bed is wet with blood. Terrified that she will have to start having Joffrey's children now, she tries to cut the patch out of the sheets but it has soaked through to the mattress. Shae (Sibel Kekilli) walks in and they try and turn the mattress but when Shae is off scaring another maid who saw the bed, Sandor walks in and sees it too. Sansa is taken to see Queen Cersei, who comforts her and tells her that she is now fit to bear children for the King. Cersei says that Joffrey has always been difficult and tells her how Robert was not present for the birth of any of her children, adding that at least Grand Maester Pycelle and Jaime were with her. Joffrey will not be there for you either, she says. You will not love the King, but you will love his children, she adds. Sansa replies that she does love Joffrey. Cersei is touched and advises her to love only her children. "Shouldn't I love Joffrey?", Sansa asks. "You can try", Cersei replies.
Alton Lannister is being held in Jaime's (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) cage. Despite being his cousin, has no idea who Alton is. Alton tells him that he squired for him and they talk about their first taste of battle, Jaime saying how he first squired for Barristan Selmy. Alton asks if he's ever thought about escape. Jaime says that he has and brings Alton closer. Head-butting him, Jaime bashes his head in with his shackles. The guard, Torrhen Karstark (Duncan Lacroix), hears the commotion and comes into the cage. Jaime catches him unawares and breaks his neck.
Jorah has gone to see Quaithe (Laura Pradelska) who tells him that he loves Daenerys. He asks where her dragons are and she asks him if he will betray her again, Jorah having once been Varys' spy. He replies, "never" and she tells him that the thief is with her now. Not very helpful as she's currently in a meeting with the Thirteen. The Spice King (Nicholas Blane) is annoyed at being called a liar and remarks that if Daenerys' dragons do die without her, it will be for the best as the world will be saved from them. Pyat Pree (Ian Hanmore) sides with Daenerys but then tells her that he has her dragons. He explains that he made a deal with the King of Qarth, to the laughter of the Thirteen. Daenerys says exasperatedly that there is no "King of Qarth". Xaro stands up and proclaims himself King, joined by Pyat. He tells the eleven others that they have been close-minded for too long. The Spice King replies that three baby dragons and a charlatan do not make you a King. Empires have been built by less, Xaro replies. Pyat says that Daenerys will be re-united with her dragons. Copies of him then appear behind the eleven men, killing them. Daenerys runs but one of the copies blocks her way. Jorah appears, stabbing it, to no avail. The copy vanishes and then reappears behind them, telling Daenerys that her dragons are in the House of the Undying and that she should go to them.
Jaime managed to escape but did not get far. Catelyn emerges from her tent to find the guard's father, Rickard Karstark (John Stahl), demanding Jaime's head. He tells Catelyn not to stand in his way and she asks if he has forgotten who she is; she is the widow of his Liege Lord and the mother of his King. She promises that Jaime will be brought to justice but now is not the time. She orders him to stand down and Rickard marches off, swearing that he will have Jaime's head. Jaime mockingly thanks her and she has him sent to the stockades. "You've become a real she-wolf in your later years" he says.
Tyrion is with Cersei, re-reading the latest news of Stannis' movements and it's not good. He gives it four or five days before he arrives to lay siege to the city but she is not worried. She quotes their father and Tyrion reminds her that he's not with them. It's just them and Joffrey, who needs to start acting like a King, he says. Cersei laments that she cannot control him. She says that she hoped he would be like Jaime and openly wonders if she did the right thing by having children with her brother. She recalls the saying "every time a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin". Tyrion comforts her, saying that Tommen and Myrcella are both good children. Cersei sobs and Tyrion looks at her with a mixture of comfort and concern.
Night has fallen and Robb has still not returned. Some men are still arguing about Jaime and Cersei and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) pay him a visit. Jaime shows no remorse for killing Torrhen, saying that any knight would do the same. Catelyn tells him that he is no knight, that he has forsaken every vow he ever took. Jaime replies that sometimes vows overrule each other. Cateyln says that Brienne is a truer knight than he will ever be and calls him by his nickname, Kingslayer. Jaime recalls how he stabbed the King in the back and she says that he is a man without honour. He replies that he has only ever been with one woman, his sister. Unlike Ned Stark, he adds. He asks what Jon's mother's name was and asks if she pretended to love Jon when Ned first brought him home, telling her that she must have hated Jon. Catelyn asks for Brienne's sword. She draws it, handing it to her.
Theon has the people of Winterfell assembled, telling them that he warned them what would happen if they did not obey him. He gestures and two, small blackened bodies are drawn up for everyone to see. Maester Luwin cries out in anguish.
I can't believe there are only three episodes left. This series has gone by so quickly. Much too quickly. As I said, there are many men without honour and Joffrey and Jaime are certainly in that category. Theon is too but there's still no way those bodies are Bran and Rickon's. They're clearly the bodies of the two orphans sent to help the farmer. Not that that helps Theon much, he's building an awful reputation for himself. Jaime on the other hand doesn't care what anyone thinks. Theon may be acting like a twat but Cersei certainly showed her softer side this week. First with Sansa and then with Tyrion she displayed more humanity in this episode than she has in the preceding sixteen. Catelyn showed her harder side again. Will she kill Jaime? Don't bet on it. She'd love to but she knows she'll never see her daughters again if she does. Once again, the Stark sisters have contrasting fortunes. Arya's scenes with Tywin are wonderful. The two actors play off against each other so well. They have real chemistry and their scene today was probably my favourite from the whole episode. Running in a close second is Jon and Ygritte. She's absolutely brilliant. She knows just how to push his buttons and she's really funny too. The other couple who should just really get it over with and fuck each other are of course Daenerys and Jorah. She doesn't trust him and he's in love with her. Of course it will end badly but not for a while yet. In the mean time, what the fuck is she going to do next? I knew Pyat had taken her dragons and I KNEW Xaro was involved somehow. I really hope Jorah ends up killing him, he's far too full of himself. Will she go to the House of the Undying? There's no way the new King of Qarth and his stooge will just let her take the dragons back so they must have something else in mind. Does he still think she will marry him? Fool! She will take her vengeance with fire and blood and... oh wait, she's already done that routine hasn't she.
Brilliant, yet again. Utterly flawless in every single way.
10 out of 10.
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