I was actually really looking forward to this film. The trailer looked pretty good and the promise of a truly dark adaptation of a Brothers Grimm fairytale intrigued me, even after the utter disaster that was Red Riding Hood. Plus, Charlize Theron as the sexy Evil Queen seemed perfect. So, when I sat down at the preview screening, I did so with a sense of optimism.
It begins with setting up the backstory. The King and Queen of Tabor welcome a daughter into their family - Snow White. When she is only a young girl, her mother dies. Her father, King Magnus (Noah Huntley) is distraught and seems destined to be alone for the rest of his reign. When he leads his army to victory against a marauding horde of glass soldiers, he discovers their prisoner, Ravenna (Charlize Theron). Having known her for five minutes, the two promptly marry (to much laughter from the audience). It came as no surprise when Ravenna killed King Magnus, granted her glass army entry to the kingdom's castle and installed herself as Queen regnant. She then imprisons Snow White (Kristen Stewart) rather than killing her, for apparently no other reason than to ensure the film doesn't end after ten minutes. It's here that the first problem cropped up. I wasn't sure where prologue ended and film began. The backstory about Snow White's life and her imprisonment carried on... and carried on... and carried on until suddenly she had escaped and was on the run. All the while, I was expecting the titles to roll and the prologue to come to an end.
Anyway, after Snow White escapes from the castle she gets lost in the Dark Forest, which has echoes of Fangorn Forest. In a visually fantastic scene, she inhales some spores from mushrooms on the forest floor and goes on a drug-induced trip through the trees, whose branches close in around her as she walks on a carpet of dead birds. It's the best scene in the film and it looks wonderful. With Snow White beyond her power, Queen Ravenna recruits a widowed huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to bring her back, promising that she will resurrect his dead wife. Of course, he finds her and falls in love with her. Things are complicated by a pointless love triangle involving her childhood friend Will (Sam Claflin), son of Duke Hammond (Vincent Regan) but we all know how it's going to end anyway. The Queen's brother, Finn (Sam Spruell) is dispatched to hunt the two down but he's far too camp and silly to be threatening in any way at all. The Queen, meanwhile, seems to be suffering delusions of some kind. Is her mirror on the wall really speaking to her? Apparently not. Are her obsessions with beauty and eternal youth the result of acute narcissism? Perhaps, but it's also hinted that her desires are driven not by her own vanity but by her fear of becoming wizened and powerless in the face of men who become wise and powerful with age. Charlize Theron talked about this in interviews and it certainly gives her character depth but unfortunately not enough. It's only briefly touched upon and it's a shame.
Instead, we're introduced to the eight dwarves. Played by Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Eddie Marsan, Johnny Harris, Nick Frost and Brian Gleeson, they have a couple of good lines (mostly from Winstone and Frost) but they seemed tacked on and pointless. After escaping the forest, evading the Queen's forces and reuniting with Will and his father, Snow White rounds up an army to attack the castle, kill the Queen and end her reign of terror. Snow White's rousing speech to the assembled men was less Aragorn in Return of the King and more Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Ultimately, the ending is fairly satisfactory and the climactic battle is quite good but despite promising much, Snow White is disappointing. Hackneyed, clichéd dialogue and plot holes are the order of the day and the characters' personalities are barely skin deep. Some stunning visual effects and a good performance from Charlize Theron aside, there's not much to this film. Like the Queen's veil of beauty from the original story, it's far too thin. Removing the love triangle, the Queen's brother and the dwarves would have both cut down the film's bloated running time (two hours and seven minutes) and allowed greater opportunity to develop the characters and their relationships.
Disappointment is the name of the game here. Lower your expectations and you might enjoy it more than I did.
5 out of 10.
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