Nancy's back at Jill's house, who gives her a present - traction socks, so she doesn't slip. Well, she meant to. What she actually got her sister were traction socks for dogs. Andy is on roller skates because he's coaching the twins' roller derby team and Shane has left a letter for Nancy, for whom everything still tastes like black liquorice. Jill and Andy tell Nancy that they are together but she's distracted by Shane's letter. It reads, "Mom, found him. Soon all will be settled. Don't be mad."
Doug and Whit (Bruce Nozick) are "at work" when the SEC guy they blackmailed last series, Melnick (Seth Isler) brings them some news - their hedge fund is in dire straits and with it, the SEC's pension fund. He gives them an ultimatum - resign, the SEC takes the fund and sells 51% to China and they won't be prosecuted. Whit is outraged but Doug is less bothered, calling the whole system "one endless, ass-to-mouth human centipede of government and business that's going to suck this country back to the stone age". He promptly signs for himself and Whit and Melnick is satisfied. Whit protests but Doug already has a plan.
Nancy and Silas try and track down Shane and Silas lets slip that Shane's joined the police academy. Andy, meanwhile, is coaching the roller derby team. He wants them to play fair and be sporting but their father, Scott (Mel Fair), wants them to be brutal and ruthless. Andy tries his best but the twins ignore him and play as they always have.
Nancy and Silas are driving after Shane. Silas wants to stop for food but Nancy wants to get there as quickly as possible. Silas remarks that Tim deserves ten minutes with Shane and they do stop for food. Andy's team lost and the girls still don't like him.
Nancy and Silas arrive at Tim's house. He's not there, but his girlfriend Tulah (Mae Whitman) is. They tell her they're friends of Tim's and she lets them in. His apartment's messy and has a weird smell. He and Tulah met when he saved her from a "rape barn". They ask if someone called Shane came round earlier and she says no, but notes that it was odd that one of Tim's new friends came round earlier and borrowed his gun. She describes him as "shifty, quiet, dead eyes, trustworthy" and Nancy nods wistfully. Tim should have already returned from work so they decide to go there instead.
Andy tries to patch things up with the twins but they both have dreadlocks now so he ends up giving a gift to the wrong one. As punishment for the team losing, they've put his shoes in the oven. Jill tells him to take them to the mall and buy their love.
At a Subway-esque shop, Nancy finds Tim (Daryl Sabara) working behind the counter. He's more than a little shocked and his boss has to remind him what to ask Nancy as he makes her a sandwich. He makes it but she just tells him to get in her car or she'll call his mother. Doug has a surprise for Whit. His idea - setting up a charity. He doesn't know what it does yet but they have a "buttload" of money from the hedge fund.
Tim is with Nancy and Silas in their car. She asks him what he's doing and tells him she's trying to protect him. He tells her that he hopes someone gives her roses, she smells them, sneezes and the bullet moves an eighth of an inch in her brain then she sees blue, smells cheese and dies. She tells him to sort his life out and he begs her not to let Shane kill him.
Andy cuts one of the twins hair while they sleep. Scott and Jill interrupt him and while she sows the hair back in, Andy and Scott argue. They push each other and then slap each other and that quickly devolves into a slapping fight, much to the twins' annoyance. They tell them that they hate them both and the men launch into lectures about how ungrateful they are. Scott apologies and tells them that he needs to go back to Calcutta, telling the twins to listen to Andy.
Back at Tim's house, Nancy and Silas are helping him pack when Shane knocks on the door. Nancy tells Tim to run but he doesn't and Shane, with his boss and two other policemen arrest Tim for Nancy's attempted murder. She protests, claiming that he has an alibi and that she doesn't want to press charges but she's overruled and Tim tells her that it's OK. Shane's boss tells her to smile because Shane is trying to impress her and as they leave, Nancy smiles.
Who cares about the twins and their roller derby team? Anyone? No? Didn't think so. That was the most pointless plot line I've seen in eight years of Weeds. Oh, the twins hate Andy! Who cares? It was fucking stupid. Other than that, it was a mostly mediocre episode. Tim is arrested and his plot line is wrapped up in a neat little package. The saving graces were Andy's slapping fight with Scott, which was hilarious and Doug's brilliant rant about the "human centipede" that is business and the government. Oh and the brief post-credits scene of Mae Whitman blowing a clown was pretty funny too.
Mostly forgettable but for two brilliant moments, this is the weakest episode of Weeds so far this series.
5 out of 10.
No comments:
Post a Comment