The River got off to a bumpy start in its double-bill first episodes. Is episode 3 an improvement or will it slide further into the dark and gloomy depths? I'm pleased to say that it's getting better! It's not a brilliant episode but it's getting there.
Having "discovered a lead" (decided to go somewhere Emmet used to go a lot, not really the same thing guys), the crew traipse off into the jungle again. They come across a cave and go inside. In traditional horror style, they aren't scared off by the mummified corpse of a peace corps missionary who had been disemboweled and had his eyes cut out but they are scared off by a flock of bats. Jahel is convinced it's the work of the Morcegos, a mythical tribe who kill selfish invaders. After they wake up to find Blair Witch-style markings around their camp and with the group succumbing one-by-one to a mysterious blindness, they head back to the boat. Probably the most sensible decision they've made so far. Back on the boat, more of them start coming down with sudden blindness leading Tess and Clark to have an awkward moment. You could cut the sexual tension with a sledgehammer. When Kurt "accidentally" stabs Clark, they decide to send a team back into the jungle to find a cure.
While Kurt, A.J. and Lena look for a mythical tree with mythical bulbs that can cure their sudden blindness, the Morcegos invade the Magus. They look like typical South American tribesmen except for the fact that they have no eyes. They've gone for the creepy look and I can see what they were trying to achieve, even if it doesn't quite convince. Lincoln uses the opportunity to quiz Clark about his relationship with his mother. Turns out Emmet was the one who left her and not vice versa like we had been told. He wanted to go back to the Amazon and she said no, so he left her. So basically, this is all his own fault. Back in the jungle, Kurt and Lena have gone down with a slight case of sudden blindness leaving A.J. to continue on his own. He finds the mythical tree and must overcome his fear of caves (no, really) in order to collect the bulbs. He's not best pleased and there's a bit that they clearly thought would be funny where he's bleeped for about 30 seconds because he's swearing at the tree and the flower that grows under it. It's not funny, it's just annoying. He dives in and grabs it but gets buried. Back on the boat, the Morcegos are about to break in when Clark decides to sacrifice himself, saying he's the reason everyone is there desecrating their sacred land. Apparently, they're easily impressed because they bugger off. A.J. is ejected from the hole under the tree and everyone's sight is restored.
All's well that ends well? Not quite. In the middle of the hubbub in the jungle, when A.J. was face first under the tree, Kurt gets on his radio and calls to someone, speaking to them in his native Dutch. He tells them that "the crew will never find Cole or the Source. They'll be dead in days. I need an extraction." Well, with Clark having apparently redeemed himself we need a new bad guy don't we? The award for worst line of the week goes to Lincoln. When operating on Clark, he tells him he understands why he hooked up with Tess after Emmet left her, saying: "life was a storm and you both needed a port." Truly awful. Best line of the week goes to Clark. When Kurt apologises for stabbing him, he tells him to fuck off.
A better episode but still below average. If it can overcome its silliness and avoid repeating the same plot every episode (team goes into jungle, finds something magic, comes back again), they could be onto something good. It's still not scary or even creepy and it could really use some humour.
5 out of 10.
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