The title of this episode should really be "Relationships". Relationships collapse and others are repaired as Vengeance's penultimate episode turns things upside down. I have to confess, I was half way through the episode and I couldn't remember if Spartacus had been renewed for another season or if this was the last one! After quickly checking, I breathed a sigh of relief when I quickly found that another season had indeed been ordered. Now, on with the review!
At the temple, things are quiet. Suspiciously so... Nasir (Pana Hema Taylor) and Lugo (Barry Duffield) are on the wall bickering when they should be keeping watch. In the blink of an eye, they're snatched off the wall and three figures hop over it. Oh shit, Roman soldiers! They sneak through the camp until Naevia spots them and everyone panics. Just as Saxa (Ellen Hollman) is about to put an arrow through the leader, he pulls off his helmet and shouts "STOP!" It's Spartacus, and he's PISSED. He, Crixus and Gannicus were testing the others and they failed miserably. It's time to get serious and start working as a team, he tells them.
The following morning, with Crixus and Agron, Nasir and Lugo and Mira and Saxa at each other's throats, Spartacus explains to them why he didn't kill Ilithyia: killing her would have meant nothing and they are better than the Romans, he says, forgetting again about the time he destroyed the arena in Capua, killing hundreds if not thousands of innocent people. As he sets the group to training, Agron asks how he will motivate them. Spartacus refuses to beat them so Agron jokes that he shower them with love and kisses, causing Spartacus to actually smile and then to form a plan. Before he can put it into action, he runs into Mira. The two argue about Ilithyia again until she asks him to open his heart to her. He replies that he's opened it as much as he can. It's not enough for Mira and they share a sorrowful kiss and depart.
Later, Spartacus reveals his plan: hand out loads of wine and organise a tag team competition with foes on the same team. The competition goes well and Mira and Saxa, Nasir and Lugo and even Agron and Crixus all make up!
Back in Capua, Seppia sits glumly by the side of the pool. Glaber wanders over and asks her what's wrong. She misses her brother and wishes vengeance on the person who killed him. We've both lost people, he says. Yes, she replies, but I've moved too quickly and you haven't had time to grieve for Ilithyia. There's nothing to grieve about, Glaber says, peeling her dress off, until, like Grendel smashing into Heorot, Ilithyia bursts into the villa, collapsing theatrically in a heap.
When Ilithyia comes round, she tells Glaber what she knows about where she was held and learns that Seppia has replaced her. When she asks if he loves her, he replies that he doesn't, pointing out all the times she broke his heart. When she asks if there is nothing between them, he points out what her answer was when he asked her that. Ouch. I've suffered for you, she whines and his eyes seem to say "good". I am not the man I was, he tells her. I am a monster, made thus by events and necessity, he adds, stalking off and leaving her despondent and ruing her actions. Later that evening, she stands on the balcony and Lucretia does a double-take. Apparently, no-one thought to mention to her that Ilithyia had returned. The two embrace and Lucretia's joy at Ilithyia's return actually seems genuine. Then, as a display of her trust in Lucretia, Ilithyia tells her that her baby is Spartacus'! As Ilithyia is saying that she doesn't blame her new BFF, Seppia walks past. Ilithyia's first thoughts are of jealousy but when Lucretia fills her in, telling her that Seppia seeks vengeance, she sees an opportunity. Meanwhile, Glaber and Ashur have used Ilithyia's evidence to narrow their search for Spartacus. When one of his men brings in Lucius' head, Ashur pinpoints the rebels' exact location: an abandoned temple in the foothills of Mount Vesuvius. Gulp.
In his room, Ashur explains his plan to Lucretia: after Spartacus is killed, Glaber will give him what he desires more than anything else - his freedom. Then, he will marry Lucretia and take over the ludus. Lucretia scoffs but Ashur tells her that the Praetor has already given his plan the seal of approval. The prospect of Ashur not only as her new husband but also the owner of her late husband's ludus makes Lucretia look like she's just been entered into a shit-eating contest. Glaber, meanwhile, is making preparations for his assault on the temple when someone shouts to him that he should make different preparations. It's Varinius (Brett Tucker) and he gleefully tells Glaber that the Senate has advised he return to Rome, lest he have no further ambitions beyond his current post. He even mocks him for having his wife captured by Spartacus, which prompts Ilithyia to emerge and rubbish his claim. As Varinius leaves, Seppia goes rushing after him but he's not interested in her any more, annoyed that she was apparently wrong about Ilithyia's capture and he then mocks her claims that Glaber killed her brother when the only evidence she has is his bracelet.
That evening, Lucretia comforts Seppia who is distraught that Varinius did not help her. Lucretia presents another solution, taking out a knife and telling Seppia that Glaber has taken from all of them and must be made to pay for it. "Blood must be spilled", she urges. A tearful Seppia takes the knife and a steely resolve comes over her. Lucretia and Ilithyia bump into each other in the corridors and Lucretia tells her that the plan is in motion, if that is what she desires. It is, Ilithyia replies. Seppia finds out Glaber and as he moans about Varinius, she turns on him, smashing a jug of wine across his head. He falls to floor, defenceless, cracking his head on the edge of the bath and she pulls out the knife and prepares to make the killing blow.... when Ilithyia comes to his rescue! She grabs the knife and stabs poor Seppia in the heart, tearing her throat open with it for good measure. Blood sprays across the room and Ilithyia tosses her into the pool behind Glaber. Covered in Seppia's blood, the two of them strike a new deal: they will remain who they are, not try to return to who they were and will turn their vengeance not on each other but on those deserving of it: Seppia, the Senate, Varinius... and Spartacus. Seppia's body bobs on the surface of the bath as the couple consummate their new partnership, still dripping in her blood.
That night, Spartacus and Gannicus are celebrating when they see Roman soldiers approaching. Deciding to make the first move, they head out into the woods and ambush the Romans. Spartacus and Gannicus go after the commanders but Spartacus is disappointed to find that the Praetor in charge of the force is not Glaber but Varinius! He is taken back to the temple and orders his remaining men to surrender. Just as the rebels celebrate their new weapons and armour, flaming artillery launched from catapults comes hurling over the wall, killing Varinius (who has an incredible "oh shit" look on his face before it's burned off) and others. The wall is breached and Ashur's men and Roman soldiers come bursting in. Many are killed and Oenomaus loses an eye before Spartacus issues the order to retreat, smashing jugs of oil and setting them alight to stop the Romans following them into the tunnels. Out of the frying pan and into the fire as they're confronted by more Romans, forcing them to flee up Mount Vesuvius. When Ashur tells him that there is only one path up the mountain, Glaber declares that he will wait for them to starve until they are driven down by desperation.
Wow! Holy fucking shit! What an episode! Brilliant fight scenes in the temple, mouth-watering intrigue in Capua and two humongous OMG moments: poor Seppia heading to the Afterlife courtesy of Ilithyia and the amazing battle at the end. This is what Spartacus is all about! Perhaps Monsters is a more appropriate title after all as the two monsters of the series (in a nice way of course), Ilithyia and Glaber re-unite at last. Spartacus is not so lucky in love as he and Mira seem to have drifted apart for good. I'm expecting her to die in the series finale now. Speaking of the finale, we must surely get our long-awaited final showdown between Glaber and Spartacus and the series' other monster, Ashur, may find that he's underestimated Lucretia as so many have before him. Bring it on!
Ilithyia boob watch: seen briefly during her blood-soaked shag with Glaber. Seppia also briefly flashes us at the start of the episode.
10 out of 10.
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