Lucrezia is shopping in the market as Paolo's body is cut down from the bridge on the other side of the plaza. Cesare turns up and acts really suspiciously whilst asking her to leave. She's totally unconvinced and her attention is drawn to the commotion. Cesare tries to stop her but she runs across the market and collapses onto his body, sobbing hilariously. Cesare hilariously waves his sword at the onlooking crowds, telling them to go away. They back off and he goes to Lucrezia, struggling to sheath his sword as the crowds all step forward again as soon as he turns his back. Lucrezia is distraught, blaming his suicide on herself. That is, until Cesare notices a suicide note. Hands trembling, she takes the note, reads it, then collapses. Cesare carries Lucrezia back to the Vatican. Exhausted, she cannot feed her baby, who cries with hunger.
Cardinal della Rovere is at a church service, making his way through the crowds towards Pope Alexander. The Pope is not his target, however. He instead sidles up to an unnamed friar (Roger Lloyd-Pack). The two exchange pleasantries and the friar invites the Cardinal to eat with him. After the service, Cesare visits his father and tells him that the father of Lucrezia's child is dead. Cesare neglects to mention that he saw the two of them before he died but tells him that Lucrezia is inconsolable and unable to feed her son. The Pope visits his daughter and tries to comfort her but he is unable to get her out of bed. He asks what he can do to help her and she replies simply, "ask Juan". The Pope asks Cesare what can be done and Cesare admits that he set up a meeting between the two unlucky lovers. The Pope is annoyed but Cesare reminds him that she was stuck in an unhappy, abusive marriage and he was her only comfort. The Pope asks if Juan was involved and Cesare says nothing, telling The Pope all he needs to know.
Cardinal della Rovere meets with the friar at his Dominican monastery over a bowl of disgusting gruel. Della Rovere says he would like to join the monastery and the talk quickly turns to Pope Alexander. The friar says that the order wish to see the church restored and notes that whilst they share the same aims they may not share the same methods.
The Pope and Vannozza meet their two sons to ask them about Paolo. Cesare says that he barely met him and Juan says that he met him at the fountain. The Pope tells him that if he was involved he should confess. Juan confesses and when the Pope asks to what, Juan says that he confesses to not killing the boy. Father and son stare at each other across the table until the Pope leaps from his chair, dives across the table and throws himself at Juan! Vannozza holds the Pope back but Juan is unreprentant, saying that if his father would see Lucrezia married again, he should have Paolo buried in a pauper's grave. The Pope stalks off, warning Juan to be careful, lest he end up in pauper's clothes himself.
Back at the monastery, Cardinal della Rovere has revealed his plan to the friar: he will murder the Pope. The friar tells him that he has his support and the support of everyone else within the monastery.
Blissfully unaware, the Pope is at his daughter's bedside. She asks him to grant her Paolo a Christian burial but because he killed himself, that is the only thing he cannot do. She then produces the note and tells her father that Paolo was illiterate. This of course changes everything and the Pope grants him a proper burial but not before asking who was responsible. Lucrezia says simply that the murderer is too close for comfort. The Pope exasperatedly says that he will not have his family fall apart. Bit late for that, Your Popeliness. The Pope has Cesare promise to do the rites at Paolo's funeral and Lucrezia finally feeds her child again.
That night, Juan goes to see his father. He is sorry for Lucrezia's loss but cannot bring himself to confess. The Pope replies that he must chose a bride from their ancestral home of Spain before being shipped back there. The next morning, Paolo is buried.
Meanwhile, in Naples, the Sforzas come galloping into town. Micheletto watches the taxidermist finishing up Prince Alfonso's corpse. He recruits the man as a spy so that he can track the movements of King Charles. Giovanni (Ronan Vibert) and his cousin Caterina Sforza (Gina McKee) meet with King Charles and offer him their armies in return for borrowing some of his cannons to defend their family castle. Charles mocks Giovanni for his supposed impotence but the Sforzas are only interested in war.
Back in Rome, Juan has recruited the help of Bernadetta (Kellie Blaise) to help him pick a bride. Lucrezia, who cannot help but overhear their exuberant efforts and accidentally on purpose wanders into his room and tells him to keep the noise down. Juan apologises and shows Lucrezia the portraits of his potential brides. She leaves and deliberately puts her candle under the rope supporting the massive iron chandelier above Juan's bed. The flame eats away at the rope and the chandelier falls, impaling poor Bernadetta but leaving Juan unscathed. Thank god she was on top.
The taxidermist finds out Micheletto with news: King Charles is departing Naples and taking the Sforza armies with him. The Borgias, meanwhile, are unaware that their doom approaches. Vannozza and her children talk about what might have been had they not left Spain. Juan calls for more wine but Lucrezia offers to pour it, asking Juan if he has any regrets. "No burning ones", he replies. Brilliant! Lucrezia's not done though, telling him that she might "drop in on him unexpectedly". Vannozza is completely nonplussed but Juan makes a speech, declaring that despite the opposition they faced, they triumphed, offering a toast to family. The next day, massive crowds turn up to wave Juan off as he leaves for Spain. Lucrezia and Cesare can barely contain their delight. Until Micheletto arrives, that is.
Cesare reports to his father what Micheletto discovered: King Charles has departed for Rome with the intention of smashing the walls down with his cannons before raping and pillaging the city. The Pope has a plan, though. He summons Vittoria (Jemima West) and gives her instructions to forge one hundred cannons for deployment on the city's walls. Unfortunately, things aren't as simple as that. Cesare goes to Vittoria's workshop to check on the progress only to be told that the Pope's deadline of one week is ludicrous and that the city's thirty foundries would take an entire month just to produce a single cannon each. The problem? They sold off all of their bronze to pay for the Pope's festival. Whoops. Cesare smashes a plaster model of a small cannon then has a brilliant eureka moment.
Word of the French advance has reached the Dominican monastery. The friar reports the news to Cardinal della Rovere, adding that King Charles may now kill the Pope for him. Della Rovere is unconvinced, telling the friar that were he not bound to an oath of poverty, he would bet that the Pope would somehow worm his way out of it.
Work on the plaster cannons is going fantastically, with ninety-six already made and ready for deployment. Cesare congratulates Vittoria on the attention to detail on the weapons and she lets out a girlish giggle. Whoops. Cesare's dumbfounded look as he examines Vittoria's face is an absolute picture. He has no interest in breaking her cover, remarking that at least she can keep a secret. Is she going to end up fucking the entire Borgia family? That night, the Pope is fretting over what to do. The French armies are approaching and King Charles has asked for permission to pass through Rome. Cesare calms his father, leading him to the window and showing him the dozens of cannons being deployed on the walls. This strengthens the Pope and he resolves to defy King Charles, refusing him permission to enter the city.
The King and the Sforzas are informed of the Pope's refusal to allow them to enter and King Charles resolves to batter his way in instead. On the walls, another cannon is being raised into position when it bangs against the wall and a small piece breaks off the muzzle. One of the men makes a joke about it and Micheletto, who is overseeing the operation, stabs him in the chest and throws him off the wall, warning the other soldiers not to breath a word of what they saw.
Vittoria patches up the damaged cannon as the French and Sforza armies come within sight of Rome. On being told that the massive Roman walls should come down after twelve hours of cannon fire, the King is only concerned about whether he can sleep through it. After calming the cowardly College of Cardinals, Cesare rides out to parley with Caterina Sforza and the King. He demands entrance to the city but Cesare tells him to go around instead. The King boasts that his cannons will batter down the walls. Not before mine, Cesare says, motioning to the walls as the newly draped banners and tapestries are cut loose, exposing the mass ranks of cannons, which are wheeled into position. The French general advises the King that their ranks are still forming and King Charles starts to sweat. Cesare remarks that the French innovation of chained cannonballs is an ingenious one, tearing as it can through a regiment of men like a knife through butter. As the King shifts uncomfortably on his horse, Cesare asks if he is well. The King replies that he still has the Neapolitan fever. Cesare advises taking a trip home to France to recover his strength, returning to the city and leaving the King to decide. The general asks for instructions and the King tells him to sound the retreat, ordering the army to go around Rome. The army turns back and Rome erupts in celebration. His city saved once again, the Pope embraces Giulia and Lucrezia as Cesare smashes a plaster cannon ball on the floor, revealing his deception.
I hope this isn't the last we see of King Charles. He's a ridiculously hammy caricature but he's such good fun! With the French armies now slinking back to France with their tails between their legs, Cardinal della Rovere will begin plotting to kill the Pope himself. Close the door on one enemy and another sneaks in through an open window. Well, at least the Pope has rid himself of the loose cannon (pun intended) that is Juan, although I suspect that he will get himself into more mischief before the series is over. He'll probably end up murdering the King of Spain or something. Lucrezia's moping over Paolo was insufferable but at least it's over now and she can get back to her awkwardly-close relationship with Cesare. The scene over dinner where she and Juan hint at her attempt to kill him was fantastic. That scene and the tense Mexican standoff at the end were my favourites.
Lucrezia's moaning and moping aside, another very good episode.
8 out of 10.
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